How to survive the Sandwich Generation

Coined in 1981, the term ‘Sandwich Generation’ (not as delicious as it sounds) isn’t exactly new, but it has never been more prevalent in society than today.

The name refers to a generation of people that are caring for two different age types simultaneously. e.g. a toddler and an elderly parent. Whilst the age of life expectancy continues to rise and people are tending to have children later, we find there are more ‘sandwich carers’ than ever before. For most, there is simply not enough time or emotional bandwidth to care, whilst also trying to carve out a fruitful career. Research shows that these sandwich carers are more likely to turn down promotions for fears of burnout and rather take part-time working instead. However, this isn’t the most concerning part of the sandwich generation.

We are now starting to see the emergence of more ‘double decker sandwiches’ (again, definitely not delicious). This involves, for example, when a person in their 60s is asked to help take care of their grandchildren, allowing their adult children to continue to work, as well as supporting their own parents who could be in their 90s. Due to attributing factors, namely age expectancy, the role of the grandparent is changing massively. They are expected to contribute more so that their children can have a family of their own or even earn a living wage.

In the first half of 2020, a record number of young adults (3.5 million), moved back into their family home for some form of support. Add the extra requirements of elderly care and you get a melting pot of pressure in households. COVID was the catalyst that meant more and more multi-generational families needed support at the same time.

So what can those do who are caring and working at the same time? We have devised a set of practical tips to help all those affected survive the sandwich generation:

Look after yourself.

Remember, you can only do so much. Don’t feel guilty or concerned about the things you can’t control. Doing your best is enough. Take regular breaks, look after your own needs and make a point to designate time for self care. The more mentally and physically well you are, the better you can look after and care for someone else.

Talk.

It may sound simple or even a bit trite, but talk about your difficulties with anyone who would care to listen: friends, family, a therapist. This will help offload the burden you might be facing and even understand that what you’re going through affects everyone. Sharing stories might even compel someone to open up to you and ask for much needed advice.

Create support systems.

How do you care for your loved one when you are busy at work or not there? Sharing the load with other family members is a great way to ease the strain. Work out procedures with siblings (if you have them) and even chat with your children to see how they can help by sitting with their grandparents for an evening or assisting with domestic tasks to share the weight of household duties. Start a private whatsapp group with your entire family for transparency and ensure you’re not sending millions of messages to different individuals.

Empower your elderly loved one.

The onus is always on nurturing your children. However, being a sandwich carer, you need to share that nurturing to the older generation too. Empower them to retain independence, remain part of the community and take up hobbies. It can be harder to do the above when you’re older, so a bit of encouragement can go a long way to help protect the physical, social and mental wellbeing of your elderly loved one.

Inform work.

Transparency is key. You may be reluctant, but talk to your boss and colleagues about your care and work situation. You might be entitled to flexible working or other workplace benefits that will help you care better for your loved one. You never know, but someone from your workplace might have already gone through a similar citation and has sagely advice to help.

Implement caregiver support in the workplace.

If you or staff within your organisation are struggling with balancing work and care, then it may be time to integrate benefits or policies to help caregivers. Seniorcare by Lottie, the UK’s leading eldercare employee benefits solution, can save time, money and stress when caring for a loved one. Our in-house Care Experts create comprehensive care plans that can ease the strain on every family. Get in touch today to see how we can support sandwich carers in your business.