Big Bad Boss seems very excited to tell me something. I am really not that excited about it myself: it seems we are getting an intern, and she is going to be helping me with the benefit renewals and intranet updates. Of course, I should be delighted to have another pair of hands, so I do try to look grateful. The trouble is, I have a feeling this will cost me more in time and energy than it saves. And then he lets me into a little secret that makes it a hundred times worse: it is his daughter. Great.
Becky is currently studying at one of the top universities and is looking to add work experience to her CV before graduating. Well, at least she will have a brain. Maybe she can help me, after all. She tells me she is super enthusiastic about learning reward, as it makes perfect sense because she is studying psychology. Eh? It does not make perfect sense to me, but maybe that is what Daddy has told her.
Starting point
It is hard to know where to get started. After introductions, I give her a little tour around the reward intranet site and flexible benefits portal. We take a quick look at Choreday, our HRIS system, and look at a reward statement. She nods furiously and says “awesome” a lot. I have just thought of something simple I could get her to do when she tells me she needs to leave early today for another commitment. But she is super enthusiastic about getting started tomorrow. Great.
I have been at work for an hour when Becky arrives the next day. I give her the piece of work to update some of the references in a document for the intranet, based on information in another source. It is a dull administrative task, but you have to start somewhere. Becky nods enthusiastically and I leave her to get on with it. Barely half an hour goes by, and she reports in like an eager puppy. ”All done”, she says, “what is next?” I take a look at what she has done and my heart sinks. She has not used the reference document I gave her; I suspect she has used ChatGPT or similar. The reference document is a list of definitions of reward terminology. As a global company, we have an agreed vocabulary on this stuff so as much as possible it works in the US and internationally. ChatGPT knows many things, but it does not know which terms we need to use here. I do not comment on her use of AI; I don’t want to sound like a fogey, but I do ask her to do it again using the right reference document.
Less than half an hour goes by, and she has already done it. She looks at me expectantly, clearly hoping for praise, but I do not have time to look just now. Becky does not have time to wait because she needs to leave early for another appointment. Later I do look and have to spend two hours on corrections. The mistakes are small but crucial, and I tell myself that without reward experience perhaps she could not be expected to know. I vow to be more careful what I ask her to do, and to be more prescriptive in how she has to do it. However, that was probably the simplest piece of work. Where do I go from here?
Spreadsheet miscalculations
I wonder if she is better with numbers than words. I ask her if she can use Excel and she nods furiously. She is super enthusiastic to get stuck into some numbers. Well, that is good; we have a renewal spreadsheet to update for our benefits provider, Mercenary Benefits. I take the time to explain the purpose of the spreadsheet, where the data has come from and how it will be used by our provider. I feel it must be patronising as I spell out exactly what she needs to do with each column and what the resulting calculations should look like. Once again, she comes back too quickly with the work ‘done’. It isn’t. It is riddled with mistakes and circular references. Oh dear.
I already have one colleague, Lazy Susan, who is useless with spreadsheets and is not very good with word documents come to that. I really do not need to be baby-sitting another. I need to get on with redoing the spreadsheet myself, so I ask Becky to see if Lazy Susan needs any help. “Awesome”, Becky says. She is super enthusiastic to learn what the rest of the team do. I have a sudden stab of fear. What if she has really been sent by Big Bad Boss to spy on us? I vow to come across as knowledgeable and efficient while helping her learn about reward. Any thoughts of getting work done by her are dashed anyway.
Inspiring work experience
Big Bad Boss calls me to see how she is getting on. Well, I say, she is super enthusiastic and seems keen to learn. What else can I say? She is either not very bright or does not bring her brain to work. Perhaps not. Big Bad Boss launches into how he is hoping she will be inspired to follow in his auspicious footsteps. To that end, he has invited her along to the next meeting of the Higher Beings, our executive leadership team, so she can see just how high you can go. I try not to look sceptical.
Next day, I ask Becky what she thought. It was awesome. So, it is a bit strange when I get an email from her addressed to myself and Lazy Susan. She apologises for her lack of availability, but she has decided that experience in the workforce planning team might be more relevant for her masters in psychology. Masters? Really? Still, I can think of no better team to look after her. Awesome.
