All articles by Candid – Page 4
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Confessions of a benefits manager: The invisible woman
A new team member has arrived to lighten Candid's workload, but proves elusive, for an increasingly suspicious variety of reasonsWe have a new member in the team, whose name is Scarlet. At least I think we have, because today she isn't here. She was not here yesterday, either. And she ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Cabinet of curiosity
Candid sets out to detox her life, and decides that boosting her personal energy calls for a radical redistribution of office furnitureI am all fired up after reading a book about how to detox my life. Yes, that's right, my whole life. This book doesn't stop at mere diet and ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Computer says no
Finding herself locked out of her computer, Candid sets out on the epic journey to find the way back in with a new passwordThis morning, my computer refuses to speak to me. As in any long-term relationship, this happens every few months. I come in on a Monday morning, only ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Parking predicament
The daily battle to find a space in the office car park degenerates, until Candid decides some Machiavellian tactics are called for. However, the threat of more redundancies may not be entirely bad newsBig Bad Boss looks pointedly at his watch, then gives me a short lecture on punctuality. Fair ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Thanks but no thanks
The phone rings and I jump. It is getting to the point where I am afraid to answer. I take a deep breath and lift the receiver. “This is Mumble Somebody from Mumble Somebody Associates,” they say, so quickly that I can’t catch the name. I think it may be ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Global domination
A new US colleague called Anastasia appears to be taking on the guise of a James Bond villain in her international assignments role, says Candid, and intrigue over company pay cuts calls for retaliatory actionI have a new enemy in the workplace. The old one, Creepy Caroline, is probably still ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Age concern
An invitation to an actuaries' annual dinner promises an evening of boredom, albeit in luxurious surroundings, but ends up bringing Candid some unwanted attention from the older generationI don't know what came over me, but I have accepted a dinner invitation. Some people jump at the chance of a corporate ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Change for the worse
An attempt to re-broke the company's UK medical plan causes widespread palpitations, headaches and convulsions - and unearths the curious case of an unknown Mr Pipp, as Candid explainsMy colleagues at HQ know how to have a good time. Apparently, they have been talking to Smarmy Consulting about multinational insurance ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Pensions palaver
Orders to close the company's defined benefit pension scheme in a bid to save money call for some expert advice (in duplicate), but it all gets a bit too complicated for the powers that be, explains Candid.I have been asked to close the old defined benefit (DB) pension plan again. ...
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Confessions of a Benefits Manager: predictions on pay lead to salary increase data
A fruitless combination of guesswork and an over-reliance on other companies' predictions on pay add up to what passes for salary increase data, according to our frustrated number-cruncher, CandidIt is that time of year again, when we make up the budgets for merit planning. There may be some people who ...
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Confessions of a Benefit Manager: Adequate reward for long-service?
The prospect of receiving a pen and certificate to commemorate five years’ service has Candid consulting a US colleague on long-service recognition, after all, surely loyalty deserves a better reward than this?It is almost my anniversary. I can't quite believe it, but I have been here nearly five years. Five ...
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Confessions of a Benefits Manager
Candid: This place is like a ghost town: desks stand empty, the phones are quiet, and for once I don’t even need to queue at the coffee machine. The silence is broken only by a gentle rasp as Lazy Susan files her nails into little ovals. It would be quite ...
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Confessions of a Benefits Manager
Candid: It started as a pain in the neck. No, I am not talking about my colleague Lazy Susan; I mean the bit between my pounding head and my achingly-stiff shoulders.I have been battling away with the mother of all spreadsheets for a week, and now I've just locked up. ...
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Confessions of a Benefits Manager
Candid: Placing staff abroad is a minefield of local salary calculations, social taxes analyses and luxury apartment allocations, but the biggest issue for Candid is her colleague in international assignments won't helpThere is a new trend in the world of international mobility: immigrant returnees. Where once we had a huge ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager
Candid:There is a weird email in my inbox asking me to sign a confidentiality agreement relative to my work on Project 'Paradise'.Well, that would be all very well, but what exactly is Project Paradise?Once I sign on the dotted line, all is revealed. We are planning to buy a small ...
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