All articles by Candid – Page 2
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Confessions of a benefits manager: It's all Greek to me
I am not normally this jumpy, but last month we completed the annual cull process, and have ‘let go’ a number of departmental managers. Letting someone go is an interesting expression to use, when the poor sods clearly didn’t ask to go anywhere.Still, HR was asked to slash the payroll ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Focusing on employee communications
Actually, I thought focus groups had gone out of fashion, but Big Bad Boss wants me to organise one with my dear HR colleagues, which is rather like setting up a dog fight with a bunch of Rottweiler puppies. We have to discuss improvements to employee communications across all our ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Rebranding benefits
Well, as part of the project, Big Bad Boss has been asked to look at the HR stuff on the ‘Wonders of Working Here’ page. Apparently we don’t sufficiently promote the benefits of selling your soul to a US company that expects you to forfeit in blood for a measly ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Seeking pensions answers
Well, that’s no big deal because we have Smarmy Consulting for that sort of thing. Except Big Bad Boss doesn’t want me to ask them. Erm, why not? As our pension-gurus-in-residence, they are the only ones likely to give me that kind of information for free.Big Bad Boss avoids the ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Calculating commissions
As it happens, I tell him, I do have sales comp experience on my CV. I send it over; it doesn’t do any harm to let your manager know your updated CV is at your fingertips.Big Bad Boss is pleased to see there are two sales compensation projects that I ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: A healthy obsession
Indeed, the Higher Beings over there wouldn’t be bothered if it wasn’t for the fact that staff illness costs money. Someone has woken up to the fact that our staff are not the healthiest bunch, and this costs us in terms of medical insurance, not to mention life insurance if ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Unwanted advice
I don’t know what came over me. I never accept event invitations from pension advisers. To accept is to tick a box that says: please bore me to death for several hours in some ghastly hotel while several consultants try to sell me services over a rather indifferent dinner.Oh no, ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Tackling fringe benefits
I don’t think Big Bad Boss knows what he is asking. He wants me to go and work with finance and get to the bottom of our fringe benefit numbers. Well, I have tried this before and I can tell you our accounting folk are about as helpful as that ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Fund of knowledge
I thought I had escaped being a trustee of the pension plan. Recently, Numbers Norman has taken care of all that tedium, but he is on very long jury service and, given my past experience, they want me to take his place.Sigh. Well, I know pensions are a key part ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: World service
Big Bad Boss says he has a great opportunity for me, which is another way of saying he has a great big pile of work lined up. Apparently, my counterpart in the US is sick, and they want me to help compile a global summary of benefits.Normally, I quite like ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Briefing encounter
Whoever invented breakfast briefings wants shooting. It’s not that I have anything against breakfast. Far from it; there is nothing to beat a nice bacon sarnie or a mini almond croissant to get the day off to a good start. No, it is the briefing bit that can get a ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Old habits die hard
We have just taken over yet another company. For an organisation that isn’t doing very well, we seem remarkably good at vacuuming up other companies that aren’t doing very well, so that we can add their undesirable product offering to our own. Each time we do this, there is a ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Presents of mind
Big Bad Boss has asked me to organise a Christmas gift for the UK office. At least it is only for the UK; I can imagine what it would be like if I had to do it for the whole of the international business. All the same, I am rather ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Belgian waffle
If there is one thing I hate having to do, it is having to do something again. And again. And over again. Aaaagh. Especially if I did it perfectly well the first time around.And I did a lovely job of analysing our benefits offering in Belgium. It wasn’t difficult to ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Work in progress
I am not sure what came over me, really. One minute I was casually browsing around LinkedIn, the next minute I was applying for two jobs. It’s not like I was having a particularly bad day or anything. Big Bad Boss is travelling, and the Higher Beings have been quiet ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: A taxing situation
I want you to know it was not my decision to start giving the Higher Beings cash to fiddle their taxes. Until now, we have given them an allowance that they could use with any firm for financial planning advice, and all they had to do was claim it on ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Quality control
The pensions consultancy wants feedback on its performance, but Candid fears her catalogue of complaints will not be heededThe first email from Smarmy Consulting is ignored, and the second one too. Then it starts to get nasty. “We notice you have not replied to our questionnaire,” it writes. “This information ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Network premiere
Candid sets up a networking group to share information and avoid using consultants, but an American contact is hard to convinceIf Big Bad Boss asks me what our competitors are doing one more time, I think I am going to scream. It doesn’t matter what industry-specific market data I come ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Spot the manager
Candid is tasked with identifying criteria to create a ‘senior manager’ title in the company, but soon enters a minefieldFollowing the success of our project looking at executives, Big Bad Boss wants me to do it all over again for the next level down. Apparently, the US wants to create ...
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Confessions of a benefits manager: Model behaviour
A conference call by the global head of HR spells out some new guiding principles, but Candid is not impressedEvery month, the HR Overlord holds a mandatory conference call. He gathers his HR drones at HQ and the rest of us dial in. Whenever he addresses us folks in the ...
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