Employers receive wild excuses for absence from work

Employees who have ever had the nerve to hold their nose to sound stuffed up with cold or fake a cough while ringing in ‘sick’ will be shocked at the courage and creativity of fellow skivers in the US.

A nationwide poll, conducted Harris Interactive, in the US found 30% of employees pulled a sickie last year with some of the most inventive excuses ranging from ‘a chicken attacked my mother’ to ‘my fingers are stuck in a bowling ball.’

Other wacky excuses thrown up by the survey were:

I had a hair transplant that has gone bad

I fell asleep at my desk while working and hit my head, causing a neck injury

A cow broke into my house and I had to wait for the insurance man

My foot was caught in the garbage disposal

Employee called in sick from a bar at 5pm the night before

I’m not feeling too clever today

I had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Home Owner’s Association

I burned my mouth on a pumpkin pie

I was in a boat on Lake Erie and ran out of gas – and the Coast Guard towed me to the Canadian side

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Perhaps employers could have the last laugh by urging the employee to help their mother deal with her chicken-related trauma by getting counselling through an employee assistance programme. Or perhaps free weight watchers classes could be given to the person with their fingers stuck in a bowling ball.

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